At the risk of sounding like a cheesy Haddaway dance song, I ask the question, “What is Love?”

There is a Bible passage that is special to me that says, “greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” We have a powerful example of this in action in what Jesus did for us. I do not understand fully how it worked, but the Bible tells us before the creation of the world the trinity got together and Jesus stepped up and said that he would be the one that would lay down his life for the sins of all people. He made this commitment with a full understanding of what it meant and he completed it. Now this is a fundamentally awe inspiring example of love, but I am not sure that it explains fully what love is. Love is more than just sacrifice, even monumental, earth-rattling sacrifice.

First Corinthians 13 (often referred to as the love chapter) expands on what love is. It says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” When I read this the first few I can feel good about, but when it gets to “keeps no record of wrongs” I begin to squirm. Then it really lays it on with all those always superlatives. At that point I am close to giving up. But what kind of world we live in if we gave up on love? There would be nothing pretty about it and nothing inspiring about it.

So what is love? Love is our struggle.

So this valentine’s day tell your spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend that you are struggling to love them. It may not have a nice ring to it, but it is more truthful, evidences more commitment and is less proud than saying, I love you.